Are you a victim of the national I-don’t-return-phone-calls-or-emails epidemic? If you’re uncertain, here are the symptoms:
1. You get a voice or email from someone you don’t know. You press delete before listening to/reading the whole message.
2. You get a second voice or email from the same person who called you the first time. You press the delete button again.
3. You get a third voice or email from the same person who called you two times before. You press the delete button again.
4. You get a forth voice or email from the same person who called you three times before.
5. You don’t have a shred of guilt about pressing the delete button, and you don’t care what the person who was calling wanted to tell you anyway. You are too busy, important and irritated because you don’t have time to keep pressing delete buttons.
6. You are doing miraculous things to help your company and no one could possibly sell or tell you about something you need.
7. You get a voice or email from someone you don’t know. You don’t read or listen to a word because you are busier than the person in #5 and don’t have time to even listen to or read partial messages.
8. Your assistant tells you someone is on the phone whose name is unfamiliar so you instruct her to say you are in a meeting/out sick/on the phone/dead.
If you have any of these symptoms, remember the next time YOU want to reach someone and they don’t respond, that they’ve probably been hit by the bug as well.
I am sick and tired of people who don’t return calls. I know we’re all on overload these days, but that’s no excuse. It’s classy to respond. We’ve all got jobs to do and can help each other do them better.
It’s getting worse than the swine flu. Hmm, maybe that’s a good name for this one, too.
When I was married to Douglas throughout my twenties and thirties, and the breadwinner much of the time, I would sometimes sneak clothes I bought into the apartment. How crazy was that? What would have caused me to fear my husband’s reaction? How could an independent woman be so spineless? Was I guilty buying something I shouldn’t? Did I feel I was denying Douglas something?
Truth is, I was not the only successful woman who hid purchases from her hubby. I’ve heard over the years from friends and colleagues who even kept high-priced jewelry a military secret. They paid the credit card bills so they didn’t worry about being caught. To this day, I know FOF women who still shop surreptitiously.
It’s pretty easy to be secretive because most men have the observatory ability of a giraffe. Their heads are in the clouds when it comes to what we wear.
I also was scared to tell Douglas when I broke a bookend he loved while I was cleaning our apartment. I was 24. And I was frantic when I accidentally broke the delicate glass hurricane lamp shade that Edgar inherited from his grandmother. He was out of town, which gave me days to run around antique stores to find a shade like it. I found one that was close enough. He never knew what happened.
I definitely had a screw loose in those days.
Myra Bradwell, America's first woman lawyer, was admitted to the Illinois Bar in 1890, although she passed the bar exam years earlier
Congratulations to my FOF friend, Jill, whose daughter, Devon, learned yesterday that she passed the bar exam.
Jill works at one of my company’s former accounts and we hit it off immediately. She’s honest, hard working, smart, responsible and real. She’s a good daughter and a great mother, who raised Devon and her brother on her own.
When Jill told me a few years ago that Devon was looking for a summer job in a law firm, I told David he should hire her. ”You know I always hire young women from Loyola,” (where he went to law school in New Orleans) he said.
“Make an exception,” I urged in my best Geri Brin pushy mode. “Her mom is wonderful, so she’s got to be, too.” I love helping FOF friends and their kids.
David interviewed Devon and it was love at first site. She worked for him when she was in law school and here and there throughout the year. Now she’s with David full time. Devon is every bit as real and hard working as her mom. David’s clients adore her. When David and I went to Devon’s graduation dinner, Jill was thrilled to see her daughter’s great accomplishment. We were thrilled for both of them.
David said Devon was ecstatic yesterday when she got the news about passing the bar.
Well done, Devon. Well done, Jill.
I don’t stew about the past, but I occasionally think about things I should or shouldn’t have said or done in dramatic situations.
Story #1
I conceived and created a successful Executive Women’s Summit in 1999 and invited Fortune Magazine to co-sponsor the event in 2000. It was an even bigger success in year two. When Fortune’s promotions manager called me to a meeting after the joint event, she told me they decided to “take the summit in house” so they wouldn’t need me or my company any more. “We’ll give you a consulting fee this year,” she said.
I couldn’t believe my ears. I created the event and invited them to be my partner and they were excluding me (because they wanted all the profits for themselves.) I should have told this woman (who had nothing to do with the event in the first or second place): “The hell you will,” walked out of her office and gone right to the head of the company, but I stupidly didn’t. I thought, they’re bigger than I am, so what can I do? It was an uncharacteristic reaction.
To this day, Fortune still produces an annual women’s summit and probably makes lots of money on it. The promotions manager is long gone and so are most of the people who worked with me on the second event.
They were an evil, sneaky bunch.
Story #2
I developed a great friendship and attachment with my long-time boss. Neither of us had especially joyous marriages, so we’d often go out for a drink and conversation after work. We also made numerous business trips together out of town and planned to go to Milan for a big trade show. A few weeks before we left, I told him I was attracted to him. He was nonplussed. I knew he was attracted to me, too, but there was no way he was going to act on his feelings. So I said no more.
When we were having a late-night dinner right after landing in Milan, he practically jumped across the table and asked how I could act like nothing happened, after I said what I said weeks before. I told him I realized he had no intention of getting involved with me so I didn’t push it.
Everything changed after that. Although I continued to work for him until he left the company, he began resenting me. I tried connecting with him many years later because he taught me a great deal about business and selling, and I always enjoyed his company, but it was a non-starter.
He’ll be 75 (we met when he was in his thirties). I hope he’s well. I should never have been so forward with him. Although I was his star employee, I could never erase my one big demerit.