The Delta Airlines security line was impossibly long at JFK Airport earlier this week, when my son and I were headed to LA. Colby had arrived at the airport earlier and sailed through security, but a big line had formed by the time I got to the terminal. Passengers became anxious about missing their flights and irritated with the airport personnel who were acting like generals. Two men and a woman traveling together stood behind me; one of the men was agitated about the whole process and complaining every step of the way. “I can’t stand taking off my shoes,” he mumbled to his companions. “I’ve learned it’s best to just accept it all,” the other man said. “Complaining only makes it worse.”

I smiled to myself at the man’s wisdom. Complaining at times like this does make it worse. It’s easy to work yourself into a frenzy when you have no control over a lousy situation, but since your kvetching will accomplish nothing, why waste the energy?

I cringe when I think about the frustrations many of us face almost every day. Among the leaders:

Trying to get answers to pressing questions, about everything from your phone bill to your checking account, from pre-recorded messages. Automated customer support “menus” make us feel helpless.

Standing endlessly on the  subway platform, waiting for the next train, which is apparently delayed. People are continually leaning over the edge of the platform to see if a train is coming.   Riders are grimacing, muttering under their breath about missing meetings and criticizing the subway system.

Hitting gridlock when cabbing or driving to an important appointment. The minutes are ticking by and you’re not budging.

Next time you feel frustrated by situations like any of these, think about the advice from the man in the airport. Cool it! Complaining makes matters worse.

Remember when you were young and immature and stormed out of a room in the middle of a heated argument with a friend? Or had a friend storm out on you. You thought you were making a big point by walking out.  Darn it, you were right, and you weren’t going to listen to another opposing word from this person. You’d show ‘em!

Some adults still behave as if they were 12 and run away from situations they don’t know how to control. Whoopie Goldberg and Joy Behar marched off the set of The View when guest Bill O’Reilly said “Muslins killed us on 911.” Paris Hilton walked off the set of the CBS Early Show when a reporter asked if she thought her days as a celeb obsession were over.

Stomping out of a conflict/disagreement/uncomfortable situation doesn’t give you the upper hand.  It doesn’t insult your opposition. It’s just plain childish. Kind of like a tantrum. But you’re not a baby anymore.

I’ve never been a big fan of Martha Stewart’s icy demeanor and hoity-toity attitude (I’ve met and worked with her on a few occasions, even traveled with her on a private plane from Florida to New York), but I greatly admire her work ethic and creativity. She’s still going strong at 70 (mentally and physically) and she just came out with a new book, called Entertaining.

Like the first Entertaining book she wrote three decades ago, when she was a caterer, this one is chock full of suggestions on how to throw glorious parties, from the food to the table décor.  Unlike the first book, which featured parties thrown by numerous hosts, this one highlights only Martha’s personal events over a one-year period.

Interviewed recently on National Public Radio, Martha told the story of discovering molds for a nativity scene when she participated in a pottery group in jail. (Remember, she was sentenced to five months in prison, after being found guilty of some financial hanky panky.) Calling herself a “ceramist” (versus a “potter”), Martha convinced the teacher to let her make more than the one piece each inmate is allotted per month, so she could create the entire crèche (there are 15 pieces in Martha’s crèche.) She also used her stipend to buy supplies—such as clay—forgoing other “perks” she would have liked, she told the NPR interviewer.

Martha can move the heavens

Wedgwood Drabware

As for painting the ceramic pieces, Martha didn’t have a large selection of colors, so she chose a color that reminds me of the one used on Wedgwood Drabware.  I can’t resist calling it Prison Brown. It does look wonderful on her Nativity scene.

Martha, you ARE a force of nature! Merry Christmas.

Hi FOFriends,

This is not a typical Geri blog, but since the subject matter is important to many of us, I strayed from my usual style. I encourage you to read it, even if you don’t have the dubious distinction of turning 65. And, please visit FabOverFifty, if you don’t know it already.  It’s about the greatest generation of women in history–and that means YOU!

I never thought it would be upon me, but the time has come to sign up for Medicare. (I turn 65 in March 2012). Saying the word is depressing, not to mention trying to figure out Part A from Part B, Part C from Part D, Medicare Supplement from Medigap and Medicare Advantage, and which of the zillion drug plans makes sense for my needs.

This much I’ve learned: There isn’t a single Medicare plan that reimburses me if I see doctors who do not opt into the Medicare network.  So I would have to stop using some of the doctors I now use.  I’ve been told that well over 90 percent of the country’s doctors accept Medicare, but it seems that those who don’t are all located on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Oh well, I guess I’ll be able to find competent docs who aren’t greedy, unless I want to continue paying for a private plan through my company, which is around $1,000 a month.

When the PR people from health care organization, Kaiser Permanente, asked if I wanted to talk to someone about “Medicare Star Quality Ratings,” I said “Sure.” Why not learn anything I could about the subject!

I interviewed Agnes Strandberg, an intelligent, supremely patient woman, who is KP’s vice president of Medicare in California. I say patient because I ask an overwhelming number of questions when my thick skull can’t absorb a concept right away.

Me:  What are the fundamental points I need to understand about Medicare?

AS:   Part A covers hospitalization.  You automatically get it when you turn 65. It’s free.

Part B covers doctor visits, outpatient care and some preventative services. It’s optional and has a monthly premium (around $100).

Part C, also called Medicare Advantage, is a privately run alternative to Parts A and B,and often includes additional benefits, such as wellness programs and prescription drug coverage. Advantage plans are structured like HMO or PPO plans, and they either require that you choose a primary care physician or use the plan’s provider network. Monthly premiums could be higher than Part B but the deductibles and copayments are usually lower.

Part D is privately run, optional and covers prescription drugs. It has a monthly premium, which is based on deductibles and medications covered.

Medigap, also called Medicare Supplement, is available through private insurers and helps pay for many costs not covered by Parts A and B, such as deductibles and copayments. Supplement plans (there are 10 options, each with different deductibles and benefits) are regulated by the government and are precisely the same from state to state (Massachusetts, Wisconsin and Minnesota are exceptions.)

Me:  Is Medigap better than Medicare Advantage?

AS: Some people believe that the ability to choose their own doctors is superior to getting care in a controlled setting (through an HMO, for example). They want to go wherever they wish and they don’t care to have a primary doctor coordinating their health care. But KP believes that integrated care—one person monitoring all your medicines, for example—becomes more important as our functionality becomes more challenging with time.

KP is a health care organization that’s committed to a highly coordinated and integrated approach, so we have a clear picture about your multiple health conditions and can ensure that we’re delivering the right care at the right time. Supplements let you go anywhere to see a doctor, but you don’t capture a holistic picture of a person’s health. We own our hospitals and have exclusive contracts with the Permanente Medical Group.

Me: Now that I understand this much, tell me about the Medicare Star Quality Ratings.

AS: The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), which oversees Medicare Advantage and Medicaid plans across the country, created the system to measure comparative quality of health care and service among providers. Five areas are covered:

1. Performance in preventative care, including screenings and vaccinations. How does a plan ensure that its members stay healthy?
2. The plan’s responsiveness to needed care and chronic conditions. For example, is it providing diabetic patients with eye exams on a regular basis?
3. The number of complaints that CMS catalogs relative to other health plans
4. Pharmacy benefits
5. Customer service

After rating providers on 53 individual quality measures, CMS provides overall summary ratings of one to five stars. All of KP’s plans received at least 4.5 stars for 2012. There are 1 million people covered overall by five-star plans and we have over 900,000 of them.

Me: So Medicare Supplements aren’t rated?

AS: No

Me: OK, I’m sold.  I want to sign up for a KP Medicare Advantage Plan now.

AS: You can’t since we don’t offer Advantage Plans in New York. We don’t have a national footprint because we want to make sure we have great control over our integrated services. Being everywhere would make it challenging to maintain the level of service and consistency we want. KP is in California, Oregon, Washington State, Colorado, Georgia, Ohio, Washington DC, Maryland and Hawaii.

Me: What are some other five-star plans?

AS: Group Health Cooperative (GHC) in Washington State; Marshfield Clinic in Wisconsin; Gundersen Lutheran Health System in Iowa, Wisconsin and Minnesota; Martin’s Point Health Care in Maine and New Hampshire and Bay State Health in Massachusetts

Me:  I’m moving!

PS to my FOFriends approaching 65:  You can visit www.medicare.gov and www.kp.org/medicarestars to get more details on the five-star plans or call 1-800-MEDICARE