When you were young, did you ever wish your mother or father was dead? I did. There were times when my mother angered me so, I wanted her out of my life. It was momentary anger, but anger nonetheless.

Gertrude and her son, Hamlet, who despised her for killing his father and marrying his uncle

Whenever I read a news story about a child who has killed his mother or father, I always want to know what made the situation so horrible as to lead to murder. Did the parent completely neglect the child, emotionally and physically? Beat the child? Sexually abuse her? Belittle his accomplishments? Push her too hard? Is it possible the parent did nothing so egregious, but simply had the wrong chemistry with her child? Or the child’s chemistry was just out of whack?

We are all imperfect, parents and children, and some of us are more imperfect than others. We’ve all got to learn as we go, and hopefully, we teach each other along the way. It is one of the greatest tragedies when the relationship goes mad.

I decided to start my own business in 1998, when I was 51, and it was the smartest career move I ever made. Although I could no longer count on a weekly paycheck, and had to pay my for my own health insurance, I didn’t have to get anyone’s go-ahead to develop and sell my ideas.

My company created a magazine for Liz Claiborne; produced conferences for high-level women, which Madeleine Albright and Hilary Clinton attended when they were Secretary of State and New York Senator, and published a couple of kids’ books, among other exciting and rewarding projects.

It’s all led to where I am now: Working with an incredible team on FabOverFifty. It’s the most exciting thing I’ve ever brought to life (except for my son and daughter, of course.)

It’s thrilling to meet FOFs every week who have become entrepreneurs, like I did 13 years ago. Whether they’re designing exquisite jewelry, like Barbara Berk; developing beauty products, like Nancy Donahue; helping women gain more self confidence, like Elline Surianello; launching websites, like Staness Jonekos, or creating charities, like Jenni Lipa, they’re bringing their passion, brains, drive and creativity to their businesses.

Nancy Donahue and her...

HoneyBelle Body Buffer

There’s no one in the world like FOFs when it comes to making it on their own.

Elline Surianello...and her gorgeous hair

spectacular website

Staness Jonekos and her...

exquisite jewelry

Barbara Berk and her...

Cambodian charity

 

Jenni Lipa and her...

I’ve “closed my eyes” to some critical issues involving men in my life.  I knew Edgar was cheating and was the wrong man for me, but I stayed with him for 12 years. I wasn’t having a particularly ecstatic marriage, but I remained married for two decades. I can analyze my behavior—and have—from here to eternity, but I never really come up with completely understandable explanations for some of it.  The way we act isn’t always easy to fathom, even when we pay therapists $200 an hour to try to help us figure it all out.

I’m astounded that Maria didn’t know about Arnold’s “love child,” but I guess I’m not surprised that she stayed, even if she did know.  Maybe she stopped loving her husband years ago and figured it would hurt their young kids too much for her to leave. Perhaps she loved Arnold so much she couldn’t leave.  Or maybe she was too preoccupied with her dad’s Alzheimer’s to spend much time thinking about her husband’s philandering.

I have a close friend whose husband led a double life (he also had a child with another woman) and she didn’t know a thing about it for years.  Situations like this are more common than we think.  It’s a sad state of affairs all around, literally and figuratively. At least Maria finally cast herself in The Terminator role.

While I was walking Rigby this afternoon, a young woman approached me on with a clipboard in her hand and asked if I’d support the Human Rights Campaign for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality. “Of course,” I said.

“Twenty-nine states can legally fire people for being gay,” she mentioned, as I handed over the only money I had on me: $13 to be exact.

I was astounded by this statistic.  We are obsessed in this country with Jennifer Aniston’s love life, Barack Obama’s birth certificate, and the comings and goings of someone named Snooki, while we allow hard working, talented people in 29 states to be fired for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. We should be ashamed of ourselves.

How can homophobia (having an irrational hatred of homosexuality) be so widespread in 2011?  What makes human beings so unreasonable?  How can we be so ignorant? The Human Rights Campaign, founded in 1980,  now is over one million members strong nationwide and the country’s largest lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender civil rights organization. It wants to ensure the basic equal rights of LGBT people, so they can be “open, honest and safe at home, at work and in the community.”

I urge all my FOFriends to read about the organization. It shouldn’t be one million strong.  It should have no members because we shouldn’t have such primitive laws in America.