Anita was one of my best friends in junior high and high school. She was brilliant in math and a generous person. Unfortunately, she also had a terrible acne condition and was overweight.  I say unfortunately because the cool kids would make fun of her, which was crummy.  I don’t know if she ever knew.  I hope not.

Even nice kids can be mean occasionally. Maybe some teenagers are so insecure they have to poke fun at others to feel better about themselves.  I’m sure there are hundreds of books on the subject. The TV show Gossip Girl isn’t popular by accident.

A 15-year-old high school freshman in Massachusetts hung herself in January after repeated bullying by classmates. The prosecutor brought charges yesterday against nine teenagers, saying their taunting and physical threats were beyond the pale.

Where were the parents and the school administration?

Grownups can be bullies, too. Maybe a better word is abusive. Model Naomi Campbell flew into a rage when she couldn’t find a pair of jeans and tossed a cell phone at her maid.  Linda Stein, New York real estate honcho, bullied her assistant, who killed her.

Bosses can be bullies.  Friends can be bullies (Did you ever watch Housewives of New York?) Parents can be bullies. I’ve been bullied and I’m embarrassed to admit I’ve probably bullied a few people myself.

There’s never an excuse for conduct this unbecoming.

“The more ways you define yourself, the better off you are,” I heard journalist and author, Malcolm Gladwell, say last night on a spectacular PBS show called Faces of America with Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates, Jr.

If someone asked you to define yourself, what would you say?

Do you look at yourself first as a mother or as an artist, business woman or lawyer? Do you think of yourself most as a daughter and sister or as a wife and girlfriend? Or maybe you’d answer that you’re a traveler or an adventurer…a philanthropist or a mentor…a caregiver or a fundraiser?

Like rare diamonds, FOF women are multi-faced and shine from many directions. None of us could possibly explain our essence with one phrase. There’s no law that says we must.

Malcolm Gladwell would think we’re definitely well off. He’s right.

Quinton Aaron and Sandra Bullock in "The Blind Side"

I have been thinking about gratitude ever since last night, when I saw “The Blind Side,” the movie about a wealthy woman who gives a poor young boy a new life and opportunity.

How would you feel if you received a handwritten letter from someone thanking you for the positive impact you had on his or her life?

I’d feel pretty darn good.

We all need to hear that we’re appreciated and to show others our gratitude. Unfortunately, we don’t hear it or give it enough in this insanely busy world.

Enter three “curly haired, cool chicks,”* as they call themselves, with a way to make it easier for us to give the gift of thanks. Their project is called The 180° Letters, a packet of six pieces of stationery, three envelopes, three questionnaires, three enclosure cards and three seals.

“This kit is for people who open up all the time, people who have a hard time saying what they feel and even the people who have never truly shown what is in their heart. It’s for all of us. Everyone wins!” proclaims the website, www.the180letters.com.

The questionnaire includes suggestions on how to organize your thoughts and write your letters.

The packet can be ordered for $11 on the website, with 10 percent of the profits going to foundations for children.

It would be a great way to teach children the importance of gratitude and to help send it around the world “three letters at a time.”

*they must wish to remain anonymous because they never reveal their names on their website.

Why do I want to cruise on a floating pretend city?

If you haven’t heard about a new cruise ship called Oasis of the Seas, let me tell you a bit about it: it accommodates 6,296, has four pools, 21 restaurants, a spa where Botox injections are available and an atrium called Central Park with 12,000 trees and shrubs.

Frankly, I’d rather spend my vacation on the New York subway. At least I can get off.

Gigantic ships don’t excite me, nor do gigantic hotels, offices, cars, restaurants, stores, apartment buildings, food portions, menu selections, airplanes, parties, awards dinners, committees, and heels on shoes. I’m not even nuts about gigantic diamonds.

Why would anyone want to be on a ship with so many people that restaurant reservations are required? (I read that many of the restaurants are booked up before the ship even sails.) Or wear shoes with heels so high they wobble with every step?

I also don’t get the point of a gigantic house or apartment, unless a gigantic family is living there. I know people who only use their living room as a path to their dens. How many rooms can one or two people live in at once, anyway?

I like charming, intimate, accessible, comfortable and manageable.

Big is sometimes better, such as big hearts, ideas or goals. What I’m talking about is excess, which is, um…excessive.