I’ve done many good turns in my life,  expecting nothing in return for the majority of them, except a thank you. Sometimes, however, I went out of my way to help someone, hoping I’d get a little something out of it (eg I helped a client’s wife get her kid’s book published, expecting to make a few bucks if book sold well; it didn’t.)

But whatever our motivations in doing a good turn, one thing we don’t want, or expect, is to pay a steep price, literally or figuratively.

He may not be laughing for long

Looks like the baseball do-gooder, Christian Lopez,  may not be getting what he bargained for when he gave Derek Jeter back his 3,000th hit ball. Yeah, Lopez got lots of pats on the back, publicity, a photo op with Jeter and fancy box seats for the rest of the  season, that are worth mucho dinero, thanks to numerous rich sports fanatics. The generous Yankees also threw in (excuse the pun) a few signed Jeter balls worth a couple of hundred dollars.

It appears, however, that our generous friend may be getting something else: a bill from the IRS, since his winnings could be taxed. I thought the young man made a big error giving up a ball that is worth hundreds of thousands of dollars (real dollars, not dollars in the form of overpriced seats to a ball game.) I would have said, “I want to give you this ball, Derek, but I’ve got hefty student loans, and my salary is pretty measly, so maybe you could buy the ball from me since you’re a trillionaire and you won’t miss the money.”

At first I thought Derek would still give the guy some money, but that wasn’t happening. Now I don’t see any indication it will happen, despite the tax implications.  (Note: If the Yankees say that the box seats were a gift to Christian, then he probably won’t have to pay taxes. But the Yankees won’t be able to take the value of the seats as a tax deduction, either.)

Everyone keeps saying what a good guy Derek Jeter is. I think it’s his turn to really be a good guy and show Christian the money.

Former President, George H.W. Bush, parachute jumped from airplanes on his 75, 80 and 85 birthdays and the events made the national news. I believe they received so much attention, not just because Bush was a president, but because of his age. Octogenarians don’t usually jump out of airplanes.

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's George Herbert Walker Bush

Needs no caption

Why the heck not?  Can’t we also do exciting things in the last couple of decades of our lives?  Adventure only stops if you want it to. A number of my FOFriends lament the fact that their husbands (or partners) moan, groan and grunt about their aches and pains.  These are the same men who were once vibrant, virile and vigorous.

One groaner I know says he traveled all he wanted when he was “younger.” Now he’s content to take naps in his free time. He doesn’t have to act like Superman, but emulating Oscar Madison isn’t exactly a major turn on.

A widowed FOF friend in the Midwest called to tell me she wants to move to New York for a few months for new stimulation. She’s tired of meeting men whose biggest thrill is going out to dinner. That’s the spirit I mean, but I’m not sure she’s going to have much success here, either.

I was in my self-centered twenties when Betty Ford was First Lady, so I didn’t pay much attention to her. I vaguely remember something about her having breast cancer and, later on, addiction to alcohol and pain killers.

It wasn’t until today, reading her obit, that I learned about Betty Ford’s exceptional character, grace, forthrightness, common sense and ability to conquer her demons.

After her radical mastectomy: “I’ve heard women say they’d rather lose their right arm, and I can’t imagine it, it’s so stupid. I can even wear my own evening clothes.”

On her addictions: “Now I know that some of the pain I was trying to wipe out was emotional. On one hand, I loved being ‘the wife of’; on the other hand, I was convinced that the more important Jerry became, the less important I became.”

On women of her generation: “I think a lot of women go through this (lose their feeling of self-worth). Their husbands have fascinating jobs, their children start to turn into independent people and the women begin to feel useless, empty.”

On being First Lady: “I am an ordinary woman who was called onstage at an extraordinary time. I was no different once I became First Lady than I had been before. But through an accident of history, I became interesting to people.”

Her positions on the issues: She supported the Equal Rights Amendment and legalized abortion and talked openly about subjects such as pre-marital sex. She urged her husband to name a woman to the US Supreme Court. She influenced him to name Carla Hills as secretary of housing and urban development and Anne Armstrong as Ambassador to Britain.

Her sense of humor: When her husband complained she was too thin, she borrowed a skeleton from a hospital, dressed it in her hat and coat and sat it in a bedroom chair to welcome him.

First Lady Betty Ford.  A fitting title.

I had a revealing conversation with a thirty something friend today because I recognized the chasm between our generations when it comes to how we approach working.

Three decades ago, when I was thirty something, most women who wanted careers were already well on their career path.  You graduated college and/or graduate school and went to work in something that interested you: Journalism, in my case. Or maybe you fell into a job that had nothing to do with your major.  You worked hard, you got raises, one job led to another, and your career kept moving forward.  You didn’t love every single thing you did, every single day, but that hardy mattered, as long as you were passionate and developing your talents and career. If you had kids, they couldn’t always come first.

Other women didn’t care much about careers and became full-fledged mommies. Some went back to work when the kids got bigger but rarely had big careers because of their hiatuses. They didn’t care.

Today, many thirty something women who have worked since college, are betwixt and between. They strive to be model mommies and work on their terms, which is hard on them and on their employers. Back in the day, we hid the fact we were pregnant because we didn’t want our bosses to think we’d lose interest in our job. Pregnancy often prevented promotions. Women who put motherhood first couldn’t possibly be valuable employees.

I’m not so sure how it’s going to stack up for today’s thirty something women when they become FOF.  Or for their kids. I hope I’m around to see. It’s going to be interesting.