How many times have we heard a survivor of a serious accident or disease say, “I have a new outlook on life.”

My 83-year-old aunt, who is debilitated from Stage IV colorectal cancer, said something else we also hear often from sick people: “I should have appreciated what I had more.”

We hear what these people say but we don’t really listen. We go back to our lives filled with routines and responsibilities and we lose sight of what’s important.

We take entirely too much for granted, things like a loving family, good friends, a roof over our head, food in our mouth, the air we take into our lungs. You get the point.

Life is filled with mishaps, missteps, miscommunications and miseries big and little. But if I’ve learned one thing on my way to being FOF, it’s not to let the bad times get you down. After all, everything’s relative.

Painting by Richard Phillips

I met my friend, Donna D,  for lunch at Saks today and started chuckling at the window displays. They weren’t designed to be funny, but they were amusing because each was promoting a different beauty brand promising to lift, lighten, regenerate, revive, restore and replenish. The beauty industry can come up with more promises than a used car salesman and more tricks than a magician.

Cosmetics manufacturers sell products for oodles more than what they cost to produce, so they can afford to spend oodles to package and advertise them. But snazzy packaging, clever copywriting and fancy windows on Fifth Avenue don’t a good moisturizer or eye cream make.

What’s a FOF woman to do? Which anti-aging formula should i choose among the 7,200 varieties on the market? Will that eye cream really take away the dark circles that I’ve had under my eyes forever? Which miracle mascara is the most miraculous?

I guess there’s no right answer. The beauty industry sells dreams. It hopes we don’t wake up.

P.S. Sephora just sent me, and millions of other dreamers, an email that touts “7 genius innovations.” That’s in addition to the thousands of other genius innovations already created. One promises to ward off underarm odor and sweat while minimizing hair growth. That’s definitely one for the books!

Addiction=compulsion, dependence, obsession, craving, infatuation. No matter how you say it, Martha Stewart wouldn’t call it “a good thing” and neither would I.

We know about all the garden-variety addictions: Work, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, shopping and food. But do you know it’s entirely possible to be addicted to a person?  Many of us turn to girlfriends, boyfriends or bosses who fill needs, much like drinking or smoking do. People can be as toxic to us as slugging down three martinis a night or inhaling one cigarette after another for years on end.

My neediness drew me to toxic people for decades. My friend, L, was beautiful, married to a rich man and connected to people in high places.  I couldn’t get enough of her. I wasn’t beautiful, my husband wasn’t a breadwinner and I was connection-less. But L was noxious to me since she thought only of herself 24/7.  She’d be two hours late to meetings we made, ask me to do her work and to run around doing chores for her.

I was addicted to Edgar.  He bought me clothes and jewelry. He was a sex machine. And he was a hugely successful businessman.  He gave me things I desperately needed, but he gave me something else: Misery.  He was a master liar, cheater and an alcoholic. Even if he hasn’t died of a stroke ten years ago (he was a stroke waiting to happen), I was weaning myself away from him. I would have been better off on painkillers than with him. As a matter of fact, I should have popped painkillers when I was with him.

People can give us intense highs and pitiful lows, having the same affect on us as cocaine and Camel cigs. Figuring out what it takes to stay away from the bad ones should be a requirement for all of us.

FOF friend D and  I were discussing a mutual male acquaintance who has a vile reputation with strong, smart women. They threaten him.

This man has a big job with a big company, but he isn’t especially talented and he prefers to surround himself at work with really vulnerable women. They’re so grateful he’s given them a job, they practically quake in his presence.

This man often makes sexual comments to women and acts like Mr. Macho, although he’s anything but macho.  ”He stood in my way when we worked together,” said D, a uber succcessful woman. “He’s disgusting.”

God knows why, but I used to defend him until he showed his true colors to me, too. Fortunately, men like this are dwindling away and we are seeing more women in positions of authority and influence.

Strong FOF women have paved the way for our daughters and showed our sons we can be the boss.

I love men (well, many of them)  but I think women are the smartest creatures on the planet who can run any show, any time.  And the sooner all men realize this, the better off we’ll all be.