Every time I complete a major project, and I think about the number of steps it took to get it done, I can’t believe I had the stamina to make my way through it all. This happens time and again, but I plunge ahead—project after project—to make something happen.

I take one step at a time and don’t think how many steps I have in front of me (which is almost impossible to do, anyway). I imagine people climbing Mount Everest act the same way; they get as far as they can each day until they reach the summit. Successful dieters follow these rules, too. If you think, “Oh my god, I’ve got to lose 50 pounds,” you’ll go crazy.  But if you stick to a sensible diet day in and day out, you’ll be at a fighting weight in no time.

I may not accomplish as much as I’d like every single day, but I don’t let those “off days” paralyze me. Usually, I accomplish twice as much the next day.

I’ve published magazines, produced conferences for 200, knit a queen-size blanket, planned and cooked for a Christmas party for 70, written a couple of books and launched a website. No matter what the goal, my stamina and persistence helped me reach it.

Of course, it takes another critical element to see most projects through: A great team. When others take the steps with you, it’s much more fun when you get there.

“There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot.” –Plato

A close girl friend, 20 years my senior, wrote me a letter many years ago where she railed at me because I was going to leave my husband. My friend was an important part of my husband’s and my life and she must have felt I was leaving her, too. Her anger was stunning. 

Anger is enervating, unbecoming and a complete waste of time and I’ve spent far too many hours of my life wrapped up with this emotion, whether it emanated from me or from someone else.

I’ve finally learned that it’s okay to be disappointed, frustrated or mad at someone or something, but there are smart ways to deal with these feelings. Angry words and actions are not smart. Lashing out is not smart.  Asserting how we feel and what we want–calmly and unemotionally--is smart.

Diffusing someone else’s anger also accomplishes a great deal more than fueling the fire, so to speak.

My friend and I eventually had a rapprochement, but she is an angry woman to this day. Not at me, but at life.  She also has advanced cancer, which makes her angrier. It is a pity that her anger is consuming her.

Anger is destructive. We need to make it illegal.

Las Vegas then...

When I first visited Las Vegas in the seventies, I was ecstatic.  Kid in Disneyworld ecstatic. I was there on business, but I woke up in the middle of the night and went to the casino in the lobby to throw money in the slot machines, or should I say throw out money.  I even played Black Jack for hours and won (I think it was $80), although I had no idea how to play Black Jack. I thought it was out of this world to be served free drinks in the casinos and to see people gambling all night long. Even the neon signs looked cool, like the ones in Times Square must look if you’re not a New Yorker.

and now!

I’ve been back to Las Vegas a number of times over the last four decades and the thrill is gone. The place is stuffed with restaurants and hotels and looks like a combination of Three Flags, Disney World and a strip mall through my FOF eyes. Even the fancy hotels have a tack factor.

Funny how we see things–literally and figuratively– so differently over the years. Here are my Top Ten Then & Nows.

1.  We thought our grade school teachers were ancient–but now we realize they were 30.

2.  We thought our parents didn’t understand a thing; now we know they did.

3.  We thought it was fun to drink whisky sours and 7 and 7;  now they make us cringe.

4.  We thought it took forever to get from September to June;  now the time flies.

5.  We wanted to look older; now we want to look younger.

6.  We wanted to act like grownups; now we love acting like kids.

7.  We loved slathering our bodies and faces with baby oil and iodine and laying in the sun; now we pop vitamin D3 because we don’t get enough sun.

8.  We hated gym class; now we’re exercising with a vengeance.

9.  We were catty and gossipy about other girls; now we’re  FOFs who respect, appreciate and share with one another.

10.We thought good-looking guys were cool; now we know that nice is cool.

What are some of your Then & Nows?

God bless Mary Anthony.

I had never heard of Mary until a publicist at CBS News sent FOF a release about this 93-year-old modern dance teacher and a link to an interview. You can judge for yourself what you love about Mary (the segment is only a few minutes long), but what I adore is her passion (“I’ve loved dance all my life. When you’re dancing you’re supposed to be as ecstatic as possible. With dance, you find your emotional, physical, and spiritual centers”), her generosity (“Life is a gift and you have a responsibility to give your gifts to others. I award scholarships to worthwhile students with passion and a burning energy to dance”), her spirituality (“Dance is a religion for every true dancer. Taking class everyday is like praying), and her drive (“Mary has standards, she’s tough. She wants you to be the best you can be,” one of her students says.)

Mary is beautiful.  She claims she doesn’t dance like she did five or ten years ago, but I think her form is impeccable.  As she gracefully lifts her legs into the air, speaks softly and carefully, and closes her eyes when she is making a point, Mary is every bit FOF. She is a blessing to womankind.