We had 1,657 graduates in my high school class. I was ranked #110 academically, which put me in the top 6 percent of the class. (I remember this ridiculous fact because my dad was obsessed with how well I did in school, so I became obsessed.) I also was an editor of the yearbook. I played the harp. I created a Spanish newspaper. All-around gal.

But I didn’t get accepted to my first or second choice colleges, Brandeis and Rochester, because I didn’t do especially well on my SATS (I got 1,100). Tests scared the living daylights out of me. Big tests. Little tests. Surprise quizzes (the thought of them.) I thought I’d have a nervous breakdown before I took every Regents exam (required three-hour standardized tests in New York State.)  It’s a wonder the SATs didn’t throw me over the edge.

Anyway, I went to Syracuse University and hated it.  Lost 35 pounds in eight weeks, missed home something fierce, cried all day long, got Ds, had a real mini breakdown. Left after one semester and never looked back. It all turned out okay, but I sometimes think how one stupid test weighed so heavily on which college accepted me.

Being judged can be trying.  And being a judge of others has to be one of the hardest jobs in the world. What exactly makes us decide which person we want to hire for a job opening?  Who we’ll date?  Whether we’ll accept someone’s idea? Who we’ll choose to perform a critical operation? I know it’s my duty, but I would not want to sit on a jury to decide whether to convict someone.

We often have to make judgments based on limited knowledge.  On the other hand, all the research in the world often can’t substitute for gut feelings and personal recommendations. I try to judge others as I would have them judge me.  With compassion and understanding.  It is not always easy and I don’t always do it well. It is, however, essential.

Top 10 lists of things I need to do more—and less—of:

MORE

1. Weight bearing exercise for bone health

Artist: Peter Worsley

2. Reading for brain stimulation

3. Listening to happy music

4. Real vacations, also known as trying to relax

5. Learning about how people live in other countries

Einstein's desk

6.  Keeping my desk uncluttered so my mind can be the same way

7. Knitting since it relaxes me

8. Training Rigby to be less spoiled

9. Seeing my nephew, Adam, who I am getting to really know, and love, more and more

10. Trying something new

LESS

1. Eating the icing off of one of David’s cupcakes in the middle of the night

2. Drinking cappuccino

3. Impulsive buying

4. Taking cabs if I’m feeling lazy

5. Getting frustrated when people don’t do things as quickly as I want them to

6. Giving Rigby treats when I want him to keep quiet (he’s a dog)

7. Looking at my Blackberry

8. Watching really dumb TV shows, even if I love them, like The Nanny (at midnight)

9. Eating the delicious, crumbly topping from a piece of David’s blueberry cake in the middle of the night

10. Thinking about work

The Internet would have saved Paul Revere a great deal of wear and tear.  Instead of riding horseback on the evening of April 18, 1775, from Charlestown to Lexington, MA, to spread the word that “The British Are Coming! The British Are Coming!” he could have emailed.

Lucky for us, we now have this fast method of communicating, but we must use it wisely. We all get far too many sales pitches, pass-this-on requests, and assorted spam to waste any more time reading another worthless email.

When FOF sends an email, we want it to be worthwhile for you, whether it’s a fab giveaway or really meaningful content, such as news about a potential vaccine to prevent breast cancer.

I think the email we’re sending out tomorrow is really cool.  Here’s a sneak preview:

So go to www.faboverfifty.com, starting around 10 am tomorrow (East Coast time) and start telling all your friends about the site. Wouldn’t it be nice to send fifty of them a $100 gift certificate to our cool new shop?

FOF has 35,000 members now. With the help of every one of you, we can make that 350,000.

It’s our way to thank you for your loyalty to FOF and to thank your friends for joining.

(l to r) Milena, Debbie, Joan and Edith

It’s not always easy having a mother as beautiful, talented, disarming, and opinionated as Edith Levin. Even at 97, this mother knows exactly what she wants and how she wants it.

I introduced all my FOF friends to Edith a few weeks ago, after meeting her at the nail salon. Yesterday, at lunch in her apartment, I had the pleasure of meeting her FOF daughter, Joan. We had a lovely Cobb salad, served on beautiful floral china, and were surrounded by Edith’s wonderful floral paintings. We had strawberries and little lemon tarts for dessert.

Three Dancers, one of my favorite paintings by Edith

Although Joan confesses to a few bumps in the road in her relationship with Edith, she clearly loves her and admires her talent,  spunk and spirit.  A talent in her own right, Joan has done just fine for herself. She’s been happily married to her second husband, David, for 20 years (he’s the president of Long Island University), has three accomplished children (a professor, a social worker and a financial executive) and a bunch of grandchildren.

Thoroughly Modern Milena, Joan's CD for her granddaughter's birthday in 2007

A graduate of the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts in England, Joan wanted to sing and act, but did not pursue a career after marrying and becoming a mother. Now, with her husband’s encouragement and support,  she is using her talents to create CDs for significant events, including her grandchildren’s birthdays and her mother’s 90th. She’s also recorded CDs with her favorite songs, including Irving Berlin’s I Got Lost In His Arms, from Annie Get Your Gun.

Joan commutes between a home in Long Island, where her husband works, and Manhattan, where she lives in an apartment building constructed by her dad, Edith’s first husband (there were three, as well as a couple of paramores over the years.)

Joan’s daughter, Debbie, and her grandchildren, Milena and Tony, came over for a short visit during the luncheon. It gave me a chance to take a photo of four generations of women. Cool. Women like this are simply the best!