It’s no fun getting an email like this from a FOF friend:
“Thrown a curve. Yesterday in ER and ICU with life long (to this point) amazingly healthy & lean 28-year old son diagnosed with Type I diabetes. Near coma. Thought he had the flu. My husband commented how calm I was (not really), but you do what you have to do.”
Worrying. It's just a mother thing. "Mother and Child" by Enoch Wood Perry
My thoughts and prayers are with my friend. When my children tell me they’re under the weather, they’re constantly on my mind and I don’t feel right until they’re better. And they’re adults! It’s just a mother thing.
My friend must have been beside herself until her son was diagnosed. But she’s a FOF woman, so this is the e-mail she sent after I told her I was thinking of her:
“Thanks so much Geri. Relieved that no tumor on pancreas, etc. that may have caused onset. This is doable. Have young friends with much worse health issues to deal with and less optimistic outcomes. New things to learn.”
You’ve got to love this woman.
FOF women do not sit around pitying themselves or their loved ones when something goes awry. They spring into action and figure out a way to fix it. We know we can’t fix everything, but we don’t stop trying.
When I was in my thirties, a “headhunter” called me to ask whether I knew anyone for the editor’s job at Better Homes & Gardens. “What about me?” I chirped up, knowing full well that they were using the question as a ploy to discover if I was interested. That’s the way it worked back in the day, when jobs were actually available.
At the time, I was an editor at an important trade newspaper in the home furnishings industry, so I would have made a perfect editor for a consumer magazine. It was a plus that I knew all the major manufacturers and retailers in the industry, from Carl Sondheimer, who brought the Cuisinart food processor to the US from France, to Marvin Traub, who was chairman of Bloomingdale’s.
When the headhunter heard that I might be interested, he said the job had a six- figure salary, which was phenomenal. He set up an interview for me.
I could have lived in a house like this in Des Moines
The magazine, by the way, was located in Des Moines, Iowa. When I discussed it with my husband that evening, he joked, “With that salary, you could be mayor of the city. And we could live in a big house” (we lived in a modest one-bedroom apartment in New York City with a one-year-old). Douglas was ready to pack up and move.
Not so quick, Doug. I didn’t think I could go from being a city girl to a country girl. I didn’t want to own a house. Besides, I thrived at Fairchild Publications, where I worked, because it encouraged individualism.
The more I thought about it, the more I knew I wanted to stay just where I was. I cancelled the interview. I’m thrilled I did. I continued to grow and learn and to be presented with new opportunities.
Today, I was chatting with my colleagues about “lost opportunities” and I thought there really is no such thing. Only optimists think they lost a chance to do something.
FOF women always find opportunities. We never lose them. We never look back.
Happy birthday to Shelley, my FOF middle sister, who turned the big six-o yesterday. Like all FOF women, Shell is her own woman.
She’s been ecstatically married to brother in-law Russ for almost 40 years, had a decades-long career as a dietician in the New York City school system, and has two loving sons, Brian, 35, and Adam, 32. Brian is married to Julianne.
Left to right: Heidi, birthday girl Shelley, and moi
Heidi, my youngest sister, and I took Shelley out to a celebration dinner with our husbands last night. Except for holidays, Heidi, Shelley and I are not often all together. We didn’t invite any of our children last night, because Russ thought it would be more special if the three sisters could focus on each other.
He was right. We had a memorable evening. Lots of laughs, lively conversation and love.
Shelley called this morning to tell me what a wonderful time she had and how much she loves the two Judith Ripka bracelets we gave her.
No question about it. I am a lucky woman to have two sisters. Two FOF sisters, no less.
I hope our parents, May and Sam, came to the party, too.
P.S. I’d love to run a photo of you and your sisters on the blog. Email one a caption to geri@faboverfifty.com
When Karly’s three children were all under five, she decided to give up her successful career in the financial world to stay home with them. “Everyone was raising my kids but me,” says Karly, now FOF. Once she turned into a full-time mom, she and her husband had less to say to each other when he came home from work. “He didn’t want to hear all the details about my day with the kids,” she remembers. “I was out of business suits and the business world. I was no longer interesting to him.” He had an affair with another parent from their kids’ school and asked for a divorce.
Mad men and unhappy women
Mad men and unhappy women
Karly had been away from an office for nine years, and although she was financially secure, she wanted to return to work. Her prospects in the financial industry were slim because so much had happened while she was gone. So Karly reinvented herself and went on to become a successful real estate broker. She’s had a happy 17-year relationship. Her three adult children are close to her and doing well. She’s a grandmother, too.
“Going back to work was the best therapy in the world and I have recommended it to many women who have gone through life-changing events. Engaging in work breathes new life in you and one moves forward and doesn’t dwell on the past,” Karly says.
I forgot to add one fact: Karly also battled an advanced melanoma and has an 8 by 4 inch scar across her stomach to remind her daily how precious life is. Happy tears come to her beautiful eyes when she tells the story. “I guess my divorce and even the melanoma were life-changing experiences but I refused to let either of those events dictate my life. I wanted to take control of my own life and not let the past cripple or destabilize me,” she explains.
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