Laugh me a Rivers

I wasn’t a big Joan Rivers fan when she was Johnny Carson’s permanent guest host on the Tonight Show in the mid-eighties or when she hosted her own late night show on Fox. But I love her now. And I’m certain I’ll love her even more after I see the new documentary about her life, “A Piece of Work,” opening in theatres on June 11.

Apparently, I’m not alone.  An article in New York magazine quotes Joan:  People who have seen this film come up to me and say, ‘I never liked you until now.’ TV interviewers say, right in front of me, ‘Even if you have always hated Joan Rivers…you are going to love her and be mesmerized by this film.’”

I LOVE HER SENSE OF HUMOR

The article says she has embroidered a pillow with the words: DON’T EXPECT PRAISE WITHOUT ENVY UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD.

I ADORE HER DIRECTNESS

“Bad things can happen, even in a pretty house,” said Rivers, who refers to her husband’s suicide in their picture perfect home in LA. “We were in Architectural Digest. Edgar still jumped.”

I ADMIRE HER WORK ETHIC

People always ask Rivers why she doesn’t just retire, enjoy her old age. ‘But they don’t get that I love it,’ she says. ‘All I ever wanted was this. I’m lucky, you idiots.”

I RESPECT HER PRACTICALITY

“I want her (daughter Melissa) to get married to the boyfriend and they don’t want to get married. I’m sorry, I am not comfortable with somebody coming down the stairs in his jockey shorts who is not married to her.”

I APPRECIATE HER HONESTY

“All I want you to do, if we are sitting down and it’s after 6 p.m., is to tell me the truth.  Because we’ve all lied to each other all day long in business and we’ve all had these lunches and we’ve all ass-kidded to the point where I carry Chapstick.  If I am going to sit down and eat with you, just tell me the truth and let me say to you, ‘Things are lousy and I’m sad.’”

As far as I’m concerned, Joan Rivers should replace Leno, Conan and all the rest of them.  Her ratings would go through the roof. Joan at FOF is better than ever.