Home alone
2010 February 16
Alone time isn't always great
Laura, an extremely attractive FOF woman, was the only unattached guest at a lovely dinner party I attended last night.
While we dined on poached salmon, yummy brussel sprouts and gorgeous grilled vegetables, Laura told me her husband died of cancer eight years ago. She’s had one long-term relationship since then, which ended recently.
An independent woman (Laura is involved with her husband’s real estate business), she has a grown son and daughter. She’d like to meet a new man, but isn’t interested in web matchmaking.
I offered that she should register with a dating service that pairs successful men and women. She seemed to like the idea. “I’ll get you the name of a reputable ‘matchmaker,’ from a friend,” I said.
Laura and I walked together a few blocks after the dinner and continued our conversation about men. “I have engagements practically every night because I don’t like to be alone,” she told me. “It would be nice to have companionship.”
“Yeah, even when David and I don’t say too much to each other and we’re both working in our own corners of the apartment, it’s nice to know he’s there,” I told her.
We approached my building and said goodnight. When I got inside my apartment, there was David. He hadn’t come to the dinner. But he was there waiting for me.
That’s what it’s all about.
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I know just how she feels…
So do I. It doesn’t soothe anyone’s feelings or make one feel better when people say, as they are wont to do, something along the lines of… “Oh you’re so lucky you don’t have to ___ and ___ and ___. Insert whatever you like in those lines. Lucky? Lucky? You know what everyone (not just FOF women) should be careful about? Not assuming about anyone’s private life–even if you (think) you know them fairly well. I’m so glad that Laura talked to you honestly. She must have known (or took the risk) that you wouldn’t pooh-pooh what she said. Brava.
I met my husband (of 24 years) via a personals ad I place when a GF put me up to it on a bet. I was lucky, but was also finally open to it. Before, I didn’t think much of these methods. But you can walk right by somebody wonderful (if not for long term, at least for an interesting conversation). So many of us need a little help in meeting.
I always loved being alone, until I met my current husband, now, when he is gone I feel lost…never thought I would say those words. May I suggest, especially to FOF women, to not ignore men who we normally wouldn’t have looked at in our younger years. My ex was a successful corporate vip and that was the type of man I normally found myself attracted to. But my current husband is a waterman and hunting guide. I have my own professional life now so I don’t need to live my life through a man’s career. He is kind, loving, open, warm, intelligent and a wonderful father to his grown daughter. He truly likes women. He is a FOF man and my best friend.