We’re not getting married in the morning
I call David “my husband.” He’s not. I think the word boyfriend is a silly word for a FOF woman to use to define her relationship with a 65-year-old man. I’m not nuts about the nouns partner, man friend or companion, either. So husband it is.
David and I are not really married
I wanted to marry David at one point in our relationship, which is over seven years old. I even angled for an engagement ring since I didn’t get one when I became engaged in 1968 when I was 21. David bought me a beautiful diamond, but I didn’t call him my fiancé. That sounded dumb to me, too.
David hasn’t asked me to marry him, but I don’t care now. We’re not going to name each other beneficiaries in our wills (my children and his children are our beneficiaries.) We’re not having children (ha.) So what’s the point of getting married? I guess you could say it would show commitment, but I think we’re pretty committed as it is. We live together and we have Rigby, our Norfolk terrier. I guess we could have joint custody if we broke up, but that would make Rigby sad. I already made my children sad many years ago when their father and I split up, so I don’t want to do the same thing to Rigby.
David and I annoy each other at times, but we get over it fairly quickly. Sometimes it irritates me that he isn’t as social as I am, or as curious, and he doesn’t like Paris. But I get over all that, too. I go out without him when I want to go somewhere he doesn’t. I went to Paris with my former husband, for instance. I also have enough curious friends and relatives to keep me on my toes.
We’re alike in many important ways. We both thrive on work, we love our children (including Rigby and Remy, our cat), and we enjoy being in one another’s company, even when we’re at the supermarket or watching Curb Your Enthusiasm and Antiques Road Show. We don’t compete with each other. We don’t play (mind games) and we’re steadfast in our loyalty.
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I have so many friends in the same position and you’ve articulated it very well. Life at this age should be enjoyed together without all of the “shoulds” we used to worry about.
Thanks for sharing.
Judith
Hi Judith,
You’re welcome. I’m glad you liked it. Where is your shop? I love your photos.
Geri
Geri,
Happiness does not depend on getting marrried or not! If you feel good together as you are, so don’t worry! There is no difference.
xxx
Greet
Great post!
Maravonda
Thank you!
Great post! My husband and I have been married for nearly 27 years and many people do not understand our independence, separate interests and yet our strong togetherness. You described it perfectly, whether married or not is not the point.
Hi Kari,
Thank you, my dear.
Geri
I do not know if its said in your part of the world but alot of people will say “this is my partner such and such” — this to me sounds twee too! Like the person is a solicitor / lawyer! LOL
As to getting married – hell, if it isn’t broke , why fix it!
LOL Lady Jicky. What does twee mean?
G
mmmm – let me think how to explain — something that is soooo cute its sickening! LOL
I felt exactly the same way. I even wonder if one of the reasons we actually got married after 10 years was so we could have a name for each other! Boyfriend…too old for that, partner…too cold, fiance…stupid, significant other…too 90’s. There was no ring, no proposal (really, at our age should this not be a mutual decision, not one waiting for the other to say a few words that will change our lives?). No, we just decided to go on vacation and it seemed like the right timing. Just the 2 of us, on a beach at our favorite tropical destination. Really looking forward to the website. Thanks!
Hi Helen,
You paint such a beautiful image. What IS your favorite tropical destination? We love Turks & Caicos.
fondly,
geri
We’ve been to many, but we love Our Lucaya in Freeport Bahamas. It’s easy to get to, not too many people, great restaurants and nice people who, over the years, have become great friends.