Infomercials fascinate me. I’ve bought some wonderful products I’ve seen demonstrated on TV in the middle of the night. I discovered Bare Essentials mineral makeup long before it hit the stores. And an infomercial introduced me to my beloved stepladder.

Personally, I like Diane's neckline slimmer

This morning I saw an infomercial for a product I won’t be purchasing now, or ever. It’s called the Neckline Slimmer, a device placed under the chin to exercise and tighten neck and chin muscles and reportedly “take years off your appearance.”

The woman using the contraption seems to be about 35, but the infomercial showed before and after photos of FOF women.

QUESTION #1: Why would a 35-year-old woman be interested in taking years off her appearance?

QUESTION #2: Why didn’t the producers of the infomercial find a real live FOF woman, too, instead of just using a woman whose neck muscles are already firm and tight?

QUESTION #3: Assuming this device is even modestly effective with a FOF woman, how many hours, days, months or years would it take my 62-year-old neck to look like the woman’s neck in the infomercial?

I think the Neckline Slimmer folks might consider deleting the FOF women before and after photos. We have better things to do with our time.

Now please excuse me, I’ve got to grab my stepladder and change a burned out bulb in the ceiling fixture.